Signs to know when your man is cheating

Nobody ever wants to be cheated on. It is probably one of the worst feelings in the world to find out that the person you are with is also with a million other people. You think that everything in the relationship is perfect, but then one day you see he’s tagged in a photo with some other girl that isn’t you (WHAT!). Talk about a slap in the face. Instead of getting to the point where you have to find out in probably one of the worst ways or someone you both know decides to approach you, it’s better to look out for these signs. If you have a feeling your man is cheating (which you’re usually right), then you should think back on everything and see if he has given you any of these signs.

He’s spoiling you

Now, do not get me wrong, it is nice to be with someone who wants to spoil you and do nice things for you, but if he is doing it for the wrong reasons, it is time to re-evaluate the situation. If you have been with him for a long time and all of a sudden he starts buying you gifts or going above and beyond to do nice things for you, he may be acting out of guilt. This is often one of the more obvious signs to look for when you think your man is cheating. Also, if you have been with him for a long time and he has an abrupt change in spirit and behavior, it may be because he’s having an affair that is actually making him a happier person. As strange as it seems, some men actually become better partners while they’re having affairs.

He’s distant

If you’ve been in a relationship with him for a long time and then out of the blue, your relationship changes, it may be because he’s lost interest and dedication to both you and your connection. If he’s unwilling to communicate his thoughts and feelings, it may be because he’s ashamed or doesn’t want to be bothered because he’s not committed to you anymore. If he’s with you but his head seems to be in the clouds, it may be because he doesn’t really want to be there. If he’s constantly distracted, it may be because he’s distracted by someone else. If he forgets important details or things that you tell him- it’s likely you’re not the most important thing in his life anymore. Just because the two of you have been together for a while and have gotten comfortable, does not mean that you should not be high on his priority list anymore. Remember girl, you should always be number one no matter what!

He makes everything your fault

If you are fighting about things (not even about your fear of him cheating) and every argument ends in you apologizing, he shows behaviors of someone that is likely to cheat. It is almost like a magic trick and you do not even realize he’s doing it, which is twisted in itself. Often times, people that rarely take responsibility for their actions, act irresponsibly. They tend to blame other people for things that are clearly their fault to make themselves feel better and avoid reality. For example, he may rationalize in his head, “I’m in an unfulfilling relationship, therefore it’s all right if I cheat.” Which in reality, is no reason for anyone to justify why it is ok for them to cheat because really, it is never ok. Additionally, people who fail to take responsibility for their actions tend to be immature and can’t face uncomfortable situations head on.

He doesn’t bring you along to meet his friends

The occasional “guy’s night” is fine, but when he is always hanging with a group of friends and does not extend the invite, he may be having more than just a “guy’s night.” In committed relationships, both partners make an effort to have their significant other introduced and accepted into their circle of friends. If he is not doing this, he may think of you as temporary. If you have been together for a while and he still has not allowed you to bond with his friends, he may be nervous that if he does, someone might spill the beans to you about another person he is involved with. If he does bring you out with his friends but does not let you ever get one on one time with them, he may be trying to prevent them from letting you in on secrets of his he does not want you to know.

He lies about other things

If he lies to you about other aspects of his life, what’s stopping him from lying to you about everything? We all want to be in a relationship with someone worthy of our trust, so even someone who lies about small things- even as small as what they had for breakfast- is likely to lie about larger things. Because who feels the need to lie about what they ate for breakfast? He is so caught up in his lies that he starts believing in them himself. If he does lie about large things- such as how much money he makes yearly- it wouldn’t be surprising if he lied about significant aspects of his life. Don’t stay with someone who makes you question their integrity or everything they say. It will become hard to keep up with all these lies, and why would you want to question everything that comes out of his mouth every single time you speak. A relationship should make you feel safe, not make you worry. 

He’s filled with excuses

If his phone constantly “dies,” he’s either really, really, irresponsible or isn’t making communicating with you a priority. If he takes a long time to get back to you, he might be busy with someone else. If he cancels plans a lot, chances are he’s not truly invested in the relationship. If something always comes up and he has to leave randomly while he’s hanging out with you, he may have a commitment to someone else. Sure, there are always exceptions- especially if he’s extremely career orientated- but most people don’t have to go to “the office” at 11 PM on a Monday night. Also, not everyone is glued to their phone during their 9 to 5 because I mean you are getting paid to work. but there are certain situations you need to pay attention to that will give away if he is actually cheating on you. Moral: Don’t overlook signs like this.

He maintains multiple e-mail or social media accounts

  If you discover additional or hidden e-mail or social media sites, things are almost certainly not good. Simply put, people in committed relationships have no need to maintain accounts that their partners don’t know about. If you discover one of these, it is time to be concerned. — Michael Howard

He’s paranoid

A guilty conscience always suspects that other people are doing to them what they’re doing to others. If he’s always checking up on your or invading your privacy, it might be because he thinks you’re being unfaithful just as he is. After all, if we do it ourselves, what’s stopping someone else from doing it to us? If he’s jealous or accuses you of cheating on him out of the blue, take a look at that- especially if you’ve given him zero reason not to trust you. Often, the way a person is reacting is a reflection on themselves. They want to throw you off by blaming you for something that they are actually doing themselves, but we do not always make the connection. Pay attention if your partner turns on a switch and suddenly starts acting way more paranoid than usual. If you’ve been with him for a while and he wasn’t jealous before then suddenly becomes jealous, it’s worth it to have a conversation with him about his change in behavior.

He’s overprotective of his phone

 
Okay, it’s one thing to want some privacy, but it’s another thing if they’re paranoid and overprotective of their phone, computer and/or other devices they use for communication.  If he makes a point puts his phone on airplane or ‘do not disturb mode’ every time he’s around you or constantly changes his passcode, that’s a red flag. If he’s fearful that you’re going to snoop, he might be hiding something. Ever notice that whenever he leaves the room he makes sure that his phone leaves the room with him. It doesn’t even have t be because he thinks you will go through it, but the risk of getting a message from “other bae” while you’re sitting there waiting for him is far too much of a risk for him. Better safe than sorry I guess? If you’re suspicious that he’s cheating and feel an overwhelming need to snoop, trust your gut. Now, I’m not suggesting you invade his space, but if you’re worried, it’s all right to take extra precaution before getting too close. Follow your instincts and decide what’s normal and what’s abnormal.

He’s lost interest in the bedroom

 Let’s face it, no guy will be willing to turn down some bedroom fun if he gets a chance, but sometimes a cheater will show some of these signs when the two of you are in the bedroom. If you’ve been dating for a long time and recently, there was a change in your private bedroom life, it’s likely there’s something going on. It may not be that he’s cheating on you, but normally if he is (unless he’s a total monster), you’ll see a difference in this part of your life. He may fear that he could potentially pass on something from another lover to you, he could be overwhelmed with guilt, or he simply could have just lost his physical attraction to you since he’s getting it in somewhere else. This goes with all physical attraction: If he no longer wants to cuddle, kiss you randomly or seems to be disinterested, the issue is worth confronting. Don’t stay in a relationship that makes you feel unwanted or unattractive.

He cheated with you

Yes, I’m sure you were special when he met you and unlike anyone else he’s ever known. Although he had a girlfriend, you meant too much to him that he had to cheat with you. Of course, he’d never cheat on you. Think again, ladies. If he wasn’t open and honest with his ex, chances are he may not be completely open and honest with you. While there are special exceptions and people can change, a relationship that started off dishonestly is likely to end dishonestly. Every girl wants to think that she is special and this time it will be different. That you are the girl he’s been searching for and it’s not your fault it happened the way it did. For all you know though you make think he’s broken up with his other chick but maybe he is actually playing the both of you. How can you trust anything he says? We all know the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater,” and unfortunately, it normally proves true. All I’m suggesting: Forgive but don’t forget.

He’s hesitant to bring you around his family 

You have been dating for months and you still have not met his family. If he is not close with his family, this may make sense, but if he is- why would he not want you to meet them? Well, chances are he is either scared of committing (because he has got his eyes on other options). Or, he does not want to have to explain to his family what happened if you guys end up breaking up because of something he has done. It is never easy to admit to your mother that you cheated on your girlfriend. On top of that, he may feel guilty for dragging you closer to him and his family. He does not want to feel guilty about giving you the “wrong idea” when he never planned on being monogamous with you in the first place. Or what is even worse, maybe you are the other women in the situation and his main chick has met the family, so it would make for some awkward family dinners if he introduced you too.